I sat on the blue bus today
My son strapped to my chestHis heart searched the air for warmth
Like a spotlight emitted through orbs
The lady next to him smiled
And an exchange between souls took place
And the warmth caught fire
It only grew, as if to say,
"To hell with thermodynamics."
The energy spread from person to person
Born out of the nothingness
Humanities greatest innovation
Permeating every mind
Every fuzzy seat, every handrail
A child on the side of the road saw the bus drive by
And said,
"Mommy, there goes a smiling blue bus."
And the mother smiled, too.
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definitely interesting AJ :-)
ReplyDeleteI am not as much the poet as I used to be, but your poem here definitely has depth of emotion in such a short piece. But, its rhythm is a little off kilter. A good thing, when you are going for it... lol, were you?
Either way, it's still so good for you FIRST time! :-D
By the way, Justin, have you been doing any writing lately? I'd love to read something of yours. Pass it along if you have time.
DeleteThanks, Justin. You know, I didn't really pay much attention to the rhythm or meter on this (and honestly I didn't spend much time on it). It just kind of flowed out. But I wouldn't call it my first poem. I wouldn't call myself a poet either, though :) Thanks for the constructive criticism. Maybe I'll clean it up soon.
ReplyDelete